All I could do was, try to sit on a stool that I could only really get half my arse on, in something that I didn’t really want to wear, but that fitted me, and look longingly at the beer, wine and cocktails and wish that I could join in.

Although, to be fair, no pants, not even Bridget Jones ones will help in this case!!

So this week marks my halfway point of this pregnancy, and also a definite turning point in my physical and mental state!!

Having recovered from the flu and then a chest infection, I am feeling completely exhausted! Mostly due to late nights, lack of sleep and early mornings – not a great combination at the best of times, let alone when you are trying to cook a baby!!

Saturday I experienced a rather surreal night; a night out with people that we weren’t overly familiar with.  As the evening wore on they became more steadily drunk and I was stone cold sober.  The amount of times that “well done’ was said with a nod and glance at my rather feeble attempt of a pregnancy bump, I was even ‘high fived’ by one lady with a ‘good on you’ – I had to ask myself “was I being congratulated on the fact that we had managed to have sex once in the last 5 months or that it was baby number 4″ – who knew??!  All I could do was, try to sit on a stool that I could only really get half my arse on, in something that I didn’t really want to wear, but that fitted me, and look longingly at the beer, wine and cocktails and wish that I could join in.

Who are these people that ‘bloom’ and love being pregnant!? Right now I itch from head to toe and nothing seems to help, I am waddling around with an arse quite literally the size of a continent, so much so, that you would think I am carrying this baby the wrong way round and to make matters worse my A cup chest has hardly increased in size!!?! I daren’t check my pregnancy app to see what ‘helpful’ hints and tips it is giving me today – do people that have actually experienced pregnancy actually write these?

I am still just about able to sleep on my front, but I now have to turn to a 45degree angle, so the next 20+ weeks are going to be tricky and I dare say it wont be long before I get the maternity pillows out.  The breathlessness is starting to kick in and even the smallest of tasks, like putting my shoes on, is a real effort.  I have 2 massive piles of clothes in my room right now; one that used to fit me and maternity ones!  I have been putting this task of for a while, as it would somehow feel real once I had moved my usual clothes to the loft and replaced them for whatever items of maternity wear looked reasonably ok – seriously, who designs maternity wear!!!!

So, last pregnancy I gained 5st.  This time, whilst I started at a whole st heavier as my starting point, I have managed to only gain 6lbs and I’m halfway.  Now, I know that the majority of the weight is gained in the last 20weeks, but I am confident it will be less this time.  Not only do I feel that the extra weight is a contributory factor to my state of mind post birth, all my previous pregnancies I have never weighed at all throughout.  This time I am weighing once a week, whilst it feels like mental torture to do so – watching the numbers go up – I feel this time it is a necessity in order to keep me on track.

In just over a weeks time we will know whether baby Davies number 4 is a boy or a girl.  I have days where I think “oh it’s a girls because of such and such” then the next day it will be “hmmmm no maybe it’s a boy because of this that and the other”.  If the truth be known, I’ve not been able to tell with any of them! Although with Harry his movements and the amount of uncomfortableness I felt towards the end was definitely more than double, and my bump was bigger, but we are talking in the last 10 weeks AND I already knew we were having a boy!  I know when I find out I’ll be all “oh yeah it’s this because of…. I should have known!” Really people – It’s just all in the mind!

That’s it folks! My thoughts, frustrations and ramblings of the last week ;)

Yours in the excitement building at 19+6 wks!

Sarah xXx